


Bottled Lightning

by Schmidt1012



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Porn, Amateur Pornstars, Anal Fingering, Awkward Blow Jobs, Broke Dean Winchester, Bye Bye Butt Virginity, Cameraman Balthazar, College Student Castiel, Creampie - Freeform, Director Gabriel (Supernatural), Eventual Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, First Time Bottom Dean Winchester, First Time for Everything Fest, Hand Jobs, Homeless Benny Lafitte, I promise, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Rimming, There's plot, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-04-30 06:59:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14491371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schmidt1012/pseuds/Schmidt1012
Summary: No Kissing. That's Dean's first rule to himself. NO DAMN KISSING.Broke and desperate, Dean found himself sitting on a casting couch after his roommate had left him to pay the apartment on his own, thinking doinggayporn might save him from being kicked out, save him from being homeless. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, but he needed money... no, Sam needed the money. And he would do everything for his little brother.But...Is he desperate enough to break his first rule for extra cash, or he actually liked how he was being treated to just... let go and say fuck it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First chapters were supposed to be short, right?
> 
> Mistakes are all mine.

_But it’s 150$, Dean-o._

_I don’t care, man. I know I’m broke, but I’m not that desperate._

_Come on, it’s just a kiss, darling. You can always close your eyes and imagine hot chicks._

_Don’t sales talk me, Balthazar... no is no._

_Okay, suit yourself, and see you Thursday._

Hand absently rubbing on his thigh, Dean waited nervously inside a fake room that only had three walls where cameras were expertly placed where the fourth wall was supposed to be standing. It's a _room_ inside a room, fashioned to look like a living area, complete with black leather couch – cliché much, coffee table, carpet, plants, and huge television set.

He couldn’t believe he let a man with an accent talked him into doing porn. The man, Balthazar, seemed to see right through his fake bravado and offered him money, money he would earn legally, only if he starred in a porn scene. Balthazar explained that people love seeing straight men being curious – or desperate to earn money – to try gay sex for the first time.

_Just think of it this way, sweetheart. You’ll get the best head you’ll ever have, and get paid for doing nothing. You’ll just sit there and let a man suck on your cock._

It sounded easy, only there were cameras included. Not that he’s camera shy or anything, but a video of him butt naked would be posted online where horny sonsofbitches lurk to watch broke straight men like him do stuff for money.

_Hey, you watch porn yourself, so careful with your words because you’re also one of those horny sonsofbitches you’re talking about, Dean-o. Those women needed money, like yourself, and I promise you, everything will be professional._

The door, the _real_ door and not the one placed in the _room_ where Dean was in, opened and a short man with a chocolate bar entered the room. Behind him, Balthazar was carrying folders and talking to someone on his phone. Both men stopped on the other side of the coffee table and Balthazar placed the folders in front of him.

“You’re Dean, right?” Sweet tooth asked, “I’m Gabriel…” the man trailed off as he took a huge bite of the chocolate bar he was holding. “Call me Gabe. I’m the director, so just do everything I’ll tell you and everything will be fine.” Noticing the way Dean’s shoulder tensed at his words, Gabriel shook his head in amusement and explained, “Hey, don’t panic. We’re all professionals here. I won’t let you do stuff you don’t want to do. And that’s why you’re obliged to sign these contracts, for your safety and protection.”

Opening one of the folders, his health clearance greeted him first, proving he's squeaky clean and healthy as a bull. After his clearance was his birth certificate for his identification, then the contract stating every rule he needed to agree to participate in a scene. He read it three times to be sure before signing, thinking a single sentence might come back and bite him in the ass some day.

After the reading the contract, there were several pages dedicated to a list of things he was supposed and be willing to do in a scene. His payment depended on those acts. The more complicated the act was meant more money in his pocket. And because it was his first scene, Balthazar pulled most of it and left one piece of paper in front of him. He got curious and peeked at the papers Balthazar retrieved and almost regretting to be there. His vision spun as he read some of the words written in those pages: spanking, double penetration, bondage, and pissing.

“Hey.” Balthazar snapped his fingers in front of Dean to pull him back to reality. “You’re an amateur… Well, technically a first timer, sweetheart, and only hardcore pornstars do stuff in these pages, so focus on your paper.”

Swallowing hard, he turned his attention to the lone paper in front of him. There, simple acts were written. If it’s a solo scene, he could jerk off in front of the camera with or without a toy – fleshlight or dildo. But he’d agreed to be with someone for his first scene so he could earn more money because he was planning to do this one time.

Stripping… _sure_ , _why not?_ Kissing… _nope, nope, nope_. Handjob… _okay_. Blowjob... _I’ll think about it_. Fingering… _hell no_. Rimming… _the fuck is that?_ Penetration…. _tempting, but nope._

“So,” Balthazar started after looking at the paper. “Only stripping and handjob, huh. That’s only 200$ plus your initial fee of 1000$, so 1200$ in total.”

“Yup, that sounds about right.” Dean nodded. Twelve hundred dollars was hard to earn from his minimum waged job, and he’s still applying at his uncle Bobby’s auto shop, so he would take whatever these people would give him without embarrassing himself too much on the internet. This was a onetime experience anyway.

“You know, we can let the other guy suck you off, and that would give you another -”

“Balthazar,” Gabriel halted from his director’s chair, raising his chocolate coated finger. “Don’t pressure the guy. We don’t want to force our actors to do stuff they don’t want.” Winking at Dean, Gabriel sucked on his fingers while pulling another candy from his pocket.

“Fine," Balthazar conceded and gathered the documents. "I'll send you your copies later for legal purposes." His phone rang and he smiled at Dean. "Well, looks like the other one is here."

Calming himself, Dean played with the hem of his shirt and thought why he was there in the first place. Rent. That's the first thing that entered his mind. His roommate moved out four months ago and he had been paying late because of his current crappy job. And the landlord wasn't helping at all, that grumpy old man threatened to kick him off the streets if he paid his rent late this month again.

The next thing he thought was food. He had been eating tomato soup every night for almost two months, making him think that the blood running through his veins wasn't actually blood anymore, it was fucking tomato soup. Hell, he liked that canned creamy goodness, but he has reached his limit, another can of those would make his skin red.

And speaking of red, his best friend Charlie and her girlfriend Gilda, bless their soul, shared their lunch with him. Both girls noticed the extra shifts he took, so they cornered him for an interrogation. They owned the arcade shop across where he worked and offered him a better paying job, but the free lunch was more than enough for him, and he wasn’t even counting the awesome company both girls have had given to him.

He just needed a quick cash to keep his head above water. His uncle Bobby was still working on his documents with the help of his dad, who was very proud of him for being so independent at the age of eighteen. John tried to give him money when he heard from Mary that their son was struggling financially. Dean refused, of course, and sweet-talked his dad to give him the Impala instead. He thought John wouldn't let go of his baby, but his father gave it to him in a heartbeat. That was the only best thing that ever happened to him after being so broke. He loved his parents, but they might hate him now for entering the amateur porn industry.

Snapping him from back to reality, Gabriel stumbled back after tripping from one of the wires while busying himself setting up the lights and cameras. “Ignore me, Dean. I’m just lightening the mood _and_ the room.” Gabriel laughed, nervously chewed his candy and continued working on the lights.

Now that the lights were all on and directed at him, the heat radiating from them made him sweat a little. _Not good_. While dabbing his forehead using the back of his hand, he wondered if sweaty men were more appealing to the viewers of Gabriel’s porn site, the _KnotHeads_.

 _Sweaty, big, muscled, hairy men_...

Dean scoffed at the idea. _Who would want that?_ Then idea a bigger guy entered his mind, panic slowly building in his guts. He’s tall and well built, but if the other guy was bigger than him then he’s fucked. Not _fucked_ fucked, but still. He didn’t like that idea a little bit. He’s supposed to be the alpha male here, not someone else’s bitch. But Gabriel wouldn’t let it happen; his contract stated that everything was supposed to be consensual.

The sound of the door being opened caught his attention, heart already climbing its way in his throat. He tried to look past through Balthazar's slender figure and to his relief, the guy standing idly behind him was not big as he feared. Dark brown hair, blue eyes, tall – but not taller than him, looked athletic, and young. _Student?_ Dean guessed as he studied the guy’s hard features, especially the bright blue eyes whose shine were blemished with exhaustion. _Awesome, that is one tired looking college student, Dean_.

Then, Sam’s image suddenly flashed in his mind. Sam was still in college, just like what he assumed the guy was, and those damned law books cost a lot. _Maybe this guy is here for the money, like me_ , _and not for the sex_. Dean thought hopefully and considered saving some of the money he would earn for an emergency – if Sam ever needed help.

Balthazar ushered the guy inside, who didn't look nervous at all and handed him his folder. There were hushed conversations between both men before standing in front of him. Hands on his waist, Balthazar smiled, raised his hand, and introduced the younger man.

“Dean, meet your co-star, Castiel.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean is supposed to be straight here, but he'll break sooner or later though.
> 
> Mistakes are all mine.

“Please, don’t tell me you didn’t sell your kidney, boy.”

Confused, Rufus snatched the wad of cash eight inches away from his face, enough to pay Dean’s rent for another two months. Dean wanted to slap it on his face but opted to smile smugly at the old fart to hide his irritation. It took a lot of balls, no pun intended, to earn that money. Not that he worked _hard_ earning it, because the other guy, Castiel, did all the work.

 _Poor guy_.

Dean thought he could do it, hell, he knew he did well during the opening scene, showcasing his most charming smile at the camera – Winchester style, until the touching happened. Fuck, he wanted to forget the most awkward – and life-changing – half hour of his life. It’s a shame, really, but both Balthazar and Gabriel was very understanding and kept reassuring him that it’s normal to react that way, proving the authenticity of their work.

Crawling on his bed, he couldn’t help but remember how he had embarrassed himself in front of those cameras. If Balthazar was right, thousands of people – men and women – would see him naked and flaccid. Yes, he’s soft during the first half of the scene, and he couldn’t remember most of it, except when the dude tried to kiss him after giving him a facial. It's good that he only had to do it once, but he'd never thought his first porn scene would end badly – Gabriel begged to differ and paid him extra for it. _Fuck._ Dean didn’t know who would die first if ever his parents see it; him after John beat the hell out of him or Mary after having her first heart attack.

He wanted to sleep for a month and forget _everything_ that’d happened, but Bobby needed him tomorrow for his initial interview – or a subtle invitation for a backyard barbeque with family. His parents and Sam would be there, Ellen and Jo, Pamela, and grumpy old Rufus. Damn it, his landlord would rat him out about his money. And things would go south from there.

_Awesome._

Dean thought it’s a long shot, but maybe a day with his family might distract him from what was happening to him.

 

* * *

 

 _One week ago_.

"She's hot," Castiel said while sitting casually beside him, already palming his crotch. “Look at her lips… yeah… work that pretty mouth of yours.”

Dean’s eye twitched at the script given to them earlier – or perhaps a piece of paper with a few lines of dialogues, yet Castiel seemed to enjoy its typical porn corniness. Castiel even made his voice husky to sound ‘thirsty’, a little commanding if you asked Dean, but at least the guy knew what he was doing.

Focusing on the screen, he couldn’t help but wonder if the brunette in the video joined the porn industry because of money – like him. Or fame. Or just plain sex. Whatever it was, at least she’s having fun… or they’re paying her enough to act like she’s enjoying the cock in her mouth – too big to be normal. _Right, everything is just an act_. Dean thought as he started to feel his own cock.

 _Weird_.

He should be at least half-hard by now but his cock wasn't interested in the brunette at all. Yes, he preferred the Busty Asian Beauties porn series, hell, even cartoon porn turned him on, but he couldn’t seem to get his cock up. Maybe he’s nervous… or maybe it’s the camera... or maybe it’s because he’s with a dude while other dudes were watching them… or maybe because this wasn’t Castiel’s first time with a guy.

That idea was supposed to assure him that he’s in good hands – _or mouth_ , Balthazar said with a wink – but it made him feel incompetent. He knew how to please a woman, but he knew squat about pleasing a man.

_“You ever… err… is this also your first time?” Hands absently rubbing his thighs, Dean asked Castiel after finishing signing his papers._

_The man sitting beside him seemed collected as though this wasn’t his first time, not like him whose heart was racing. Dean thought that Castiel was playing it cool because he’s doing the exact same thing; except that the sweat beading on his forehead said he’s not very good at it._

_“First time what?” Castiel responded, blue eyes staring intently at him._

_“With… with a man.”_

_“No… I’ve been with guys before if that’s what you’re asking.”_

With that in mind, Dean wondered where Castiel’s attention was: at the pretty brunette, who's struggling to deep throat the cock, or at the cock itself – long, veiny, a little bend to the left, and slick with spit.

Shifting in his seat, Dean relaxed his shoulders and said his line, “Yeah… I bet it feels good.”

“Can your girl deep throat you like that?”

“Nah, she’s prude… doesn’t even like the smell of come.”

On the corner of his eyes, Dean saw Castiel started fumbling with his belt and slowly worked on his zipper. Grunting in front of them, Gabriel signaled him to follow suit. _Oh, right_. Mentally facepalming himself, he had just remembered that he was supposed to strip his jeans first before Castiel, but he obviously forgot, so his co-star had to do an ad lib without disturbing the scene.

“Huh,” Castiel scoffed, “Let me guess, you’ve only done it missionary style with her.”

“Fucking right.” The script said he needed to sound excited or something, so he did. “Can you imagine she doesn't even let me do her from behind – doggy style?” Toeing his boots off, Dean stood up and did a little striptease - Winchester style - by moving his hips seductively as he tugged his jeans down, leaving his boxers on. Gabriel approved and gave him thumbs up in his chair behind Balthazar.

“Wow, so when was the last time she gave you head?”

Relaxing back on the couch, Dean started rubbing on his crotch, cock finally getting on board with the porn. “Didn’t you hear what I’ve just said?”

“Hey, I’m just being positive here, man.” Dean shrugged. Castiel continued, “You ever think it’s because your dick’s too big?” Pointing at his visible hard-on tenting in his boxers, Castiel smirked at him, who’s already half naked.

_Damn it, when did he start stripping?_

Dean had seen other men’s penises in bathroom stalls. Hell, he’d seen his father’s penis when John had decided to pee beside him because it’s _normal_ for men to share the same urinal stall, a very jarring experience that led him to always lock the bathroom door even in his own apartment. At least, his father wasn’t hard when it happened, though. Not like Castiel who’s stroking his hard cock languidly.

In front of them, Gabriel gestured for Dean to remove his shirt and whip his cock out. _Right, it’s show time_. All he needed to do was to strip all the way, let Castiel touch him a little, and bust his nuts with his _own_ hands. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. He could almost hear the phantom ringing of a cash register, the sound of his paycheck. Damn it, he’ll treat himself a big juicy burger after this.

Slowly, Dean removed his shirt, tossed it on top of his discarded jeans, and pulled his boxers down to expose his cock, soft. _Huh_. Stroking it a few times, he returned his gaze back to the screen and tried to ignore how Castiel craned his neck to ogle at his cock, still limping in his hand.

“Nice dick, man.”

Dean wasn’t sure if the compliment was genuine because the script said Castiel would compliment his cock. Either way, he knew his cock was above average – thanks to his Dad’s awesome genetics that scared the shit out of him even when he saw it, flaccid, and compliments from other men boost his ego, so what the hell.

Too busy thinking, Dean stiffened when he saw Castiel reached out to grab his cock, head screaming to push the man away and cover himself up. He couldn’t breathe, a man was touching him and it was good… no, better than those random chicks who thought that his cock might bite. With every twist of Castiel’s wrist as he worked around the base, blood started pumping down his cock, making it half-hard after a few strokes. _Damn it, when was the last time I get laid?_ His body was reacting against his will, hell, his body _wanted_ it, but the voice inside his head wanted him to run away.

As the room started spinning around him while trying not to buck his hips to fuck Castiel’s soft hand, a sigh of relief escaped his mouth when Castiel finally let go of him and settled back on the other end of the couch, smirking triumphantly at his work.

 _Sonofabitch, this guy is so full of himself_.

Trying his best to hide how labored his breathing was, Dean slumped back, wrapped his hand around his cock and stroked it mechanically, not wanting to believe that a guy just literally gave him a _hand_. Not that he’s surprised or anything, hell, he knew he would be with a guy when he’d decided to do gay porn. He just couldn’t believe how soft Castiel’s hand was around his cock as if it wasn’t accustomed to physical labor.

Dean focused fisting his cock back to life, apparently, thinking of his mom’s calloused hands turned him off, and the fact that Castiel looking hungrily at him was a little off-putting. _Be subtle at least, man_. He’d seen those look on women and some men, pure lust. Even Balthazar gave him that look when he tried to flirt with Dean, the night he offered him to do porn.

That was his curse. When the package was pretty, no one seemed to care what’s inside. Everyone wanted to hook up with him, just a body with a pretty face to warm their bed, but no one wanted a serious relationship. Even though he missed being in a relationship, it’s hard to find a girl who was actually interested in his dorky persona hidden underneath his bad boy appearance, not because of his _pretty_ looks – Charlie not included. He wanted someone who would like him because he’s _Dean_ , not some trophy boyfriend they could flaunt around in public places.

Back to his predicament, both of he and Castiel would earn money from porn, but only one of them would truly enjoy its process. Not like him, Castiel wasn’t acting at all. He wanted Dean, and he’s getting paid for it. It’s not fair. It’s supposed to be just business.

_Right, it’s all business._

Willing himself to focus on the screen, he thought that: the faster he emptied his balls, the sooner it would end.

 _“Fuck me, daddy.”_ The chick on the video moaned.

He watched the brunette bounce up and down into the cock, breasts jiggling, and savored the moans escaping her parted mouth. The chick adjusted her position, spreading her legs impossibly wide, and let the man underneath her fuck the lights out of her while she rubbed her clit wildly, face twisted with pure glee.

“You want lube?” Gabe asked, noticing how Dean was having a hard time to get hard. Dean only nodded without tearing his gaze from the screen, determined not to get distracted. “ _Cassie_ , be a good little boy and bring out the lube.”

Beside him, Castiel stood up and fetched a small bottle of lube under the coffee table before tossing it on his lap. The couched dipped when Castiel sat down and he couldn’t help but notice how close they were, knees already touching.

With a pop, Dean blindly opened the lube and slicked his hands, not noticing the smirk on Gabriel's face and the hand gestures he and Balthazar were exchanging.

As Dean tried to get comfortable, the warmth of Castiel skin on his thigh distracted him from the screen. _Damn it, man. You ever heard of personal space_? A firm hand touched his wrist, stopping its steady rhythm, and brought it to grab Castiel’s hard cock. Right, he’d agreed to touch Castiel. Willing himself not to jerk his hand away, he bravely curled his fingers around its base and gave it a slow stroke, hand still slick with lube.

 _Huh_.

Another man’s penis felt weird in his hand. Not bad, but also not good. It’s just weird, and Dean could feel it throb as he tightened his grip on it – as if it’s alive, Castiel moaning softly on his side. Feeling a little braver, he skillfully twisted his wrist while stroking and teased the spongy head with his thumb– just the way how he liked it and felt proud when a shuddering breath escaped Castiel’s lips.

“Fuck.” Castiel moaned.

Now, it’s his turn to tease. With a firm grip, he increased the pace and started jerking Castiel from root to tip, a smile creeping on his face when Castiel started to roll his hips syncing with his strokes. The way Castiel panted beside him, he didn’t know how easy it was to please another man. Not like chicks who could fake their moans and orgasm, the hard-on in his hand was a proof that Castiel really was enjoying it.

"Wait," Castiel said abruptly, stilling Dean’s hand from moving. “I don’t want to come yet.”

“What?” _Is this guy serious?_

“I don’t want to come yet.”

_O-okay?_

Easing his hand away, Dean closely watched Castiel shifted in his seat and was shocked when Castiel dropped to his knees and positioned himself between Dean’s legs. He didn’t know what to do. The way Castiel rubbed his hands up and down on his thighs and looked up at him through his lashes freeze him in place.

Quite worried about what would happen next, Dean’s cock started limping before Castiel even close his lips around it. _Fuck_. He’s bigger than average, but Castiel took his whole length in one go without trouble and started sucking his cock back to life, tongue hungrily licking the underside of his shaft. Damn it, this wasn’t included in his contract.

Unsure of what to do, he sought help from Balthazar who was busy finding a good angle beside them, hoping he might stop recording at how his cock appeared and disappeared into Castiel’s hot mouth. “Hey,” Dean said, “the fuck is --” His words trailed off when Castiel flicked his velvety tongue on his balls, sending a different kind of toe-curling pleasure in his body. Fuck, no woman was ever bold enough to pay his balls attention.

“Yeah, just like that.” Balthazar whispered, “Just enjoy it, sweetheart.”

Not counting Castiel’s talented tongue, the only good thing about the surprise blowjob was the extra money he would earn from it – _they_ would earn. _Just enjoy it, Dean_. He said to himself as he closed his eyes and slumped back on the couch, wanting to ignore the intense pair of blue eyes looking at him hooded with lust.

A not-so-manly whine escaped Dean’s mouth when Castiel let go of his cock with an obscene popping sound and started mapping his hard flesh using his tongue, leisurely dragging it from the base of his erection to the very tip. His back arched when Castiel swirled his tongue around the head before swallowing him again. And damn it, Balthazar was right; this was the best head he’d ever experience.

"I'm close," Dean warned. He wanted to reward Castiel for his work by blowing his load in his mouth, but a facial would give both of them extra bucks. And besides, porn should end with a satisfying _money shot_ , come arcing in the air before hitting the girl’s face and parted mouth. But in his case, it would be a man.

Pulling Castiel’s head away, lips and chin glistened with spit, Dean curled his fingers around his cock and started fucking his fist.

Between his legs, Castiel stared at his cock expectantly as he chased his own orgasm. Dean closed his eyes shut and focused on the excitement building in his guts while thinking of soft, curvy hips, pink pair of lips, firm breasts, and a tight pussy. But nothing seemed to turn him on more. Fuck, he wanted to be inside of Castiel’s mouth again, tongue wrapped around the underside of his cock and to feel Castiel’s throat tightened around the tip.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted by Castiel’s icy blue pair as Castiel nipped the inside of his thigh, short stubble grazing on his skin. Damn it, he didn’t know what was wrong with him but the contact almost made him come, the slight burn of stubble brought a strange wave of pleasure throughout his body.

“Suck my balls.” Closing his eyes again, he ordered while angrily jerking his cock, angry at how facial hair _magically_ turned him on. He couldn’t believe it, hell, why would beard turn him on. He liked girls but his cock was leaking crazy at the thought of a bearded man worshipping his body, especially his neck.

“Whenever you’re ready, darling.” Balthazar encouraged after finding the best angle to record his orgasm.

Subtly, Dean moved one of his thighs to touch Castiel’s cheek, wanting to feel that satisfying scrape again. As Castiel struggled to put both of his hairy balls in his mouth, Dean let go and surrendered to what his cock wanted, a man writhing underneath him and groaning his name while he buried his cock deep in his tight ass. Damn it, he would figure out what was wrong with his head later, finishing this scene was his first priority.

 _Fuck_.

Dean was doomed. An image of a bearded man with the saddest pair of blue eyes panting sweet nothings in his ears while riding him pushed him over the edge, hot shuddering breath ghosting on his neck. With a guttural groan through his gritted teeth, he quickly lifted Castiel’s head and sprayed his load on Castiel’s flushed face, mouth open to catch some of his come.

“Sonofabitch!” Dean hissed when Castiel started polishing the over-sensitive knob with his mouth and tongue.

A little twitchy and still trying to remember how to breathe, he was a little thankful that the man in his head had blue eyes because the man his brain constructed was a splitting image of his dad – beard, strong arms, broad shoulders, and hairy chest. _Fuck that_. Dean dismissively said to himself, trying to forget the image in his head before slumping back on the couch, a needy whine could be heard between his legs when his cock slipped free from Castiel’s mouth.

“Nice.” Gabriel commended, “Now, Dean-o, you better return the favor.”

In front of him, Castiel stood up and stroked his neglected cock, a pearly thread of precome leaking from the slit. _Oh, what the hell_. Dean thought as he straightened his body before closing his fingers around the base Castiel’s cock, giving it a few lazy strokes. He hated it but his brain cells always stopped working whenever he’s basking the afterglow of his orgasm, preventing him from thinking _straight_ – still no pun intended, and causing him to do stupid things. So far, the dumbest thing he’d ever done was saying ‘I love you’ to random hookups, but now, wrapping his lips around the head of someone else's cock might top it.

Above him, Castiel gave him an appreciative hum when he sucked the head, but Castiel rewarded him a shuddery groan when his tongue touched the head, tasting a mixture of bitter and salty sort of liquid his brain couldn’t process at the moment, so he tried it again, tongue apprehensively wrapping around the tip, loving the dirty praises coming from Castiel.

It took half of the cock's length in his mouth for his brain to decide to work again, waking him from his post-orgasm state. He didn't know what he was doing, but his mind didn't seem to care - no: _there’s a dick in my mouth_ alarm blaring in his head. The cock felt heavy in his mouth and tasted like an arm – skin in particular, not that he liked it or anything, but he’s pretty sure he didn’t hate the taste of it.

He wanted to know more – to feed his curiosity that would soon be the death of him – but Castiel pulled out too soon. And soon enough, spurt by spurt, Castiel sprayed his warm load on his face, thick come almost hitting him in the eyes. _Damn it, it smelt like chlorine_. Dean thought as he closed his eyes, brain now fully functioning and shame started blooming in his chest.

_What the fuck did just happen?_

Slowly, he opened his eyes and quickly turned his face when he caught Castiel leaning down to kiss him. _What the fuck, man?_ He stood up abruptly, almost knocking Castiel, and waved off at the camera before picking up his scattered clothes. He needed to get out of there, no, he needed a shower first, to scrub all the filth off of his body.

“What are you doing, Dean?” Gabriel asked in his chair, hand raised as though calming a wild animal.

“I need a shower.” He answered with a shrug, feigning nonchalance, come trickling down his chin and jaw.

He already did his part, so there’s no reason to stay a little longer. And there’s something… _something_ in his chest he couldn’t explain. Having sex with a man should have freaked him out, but it didn’t. He enjoyed it, yes, but that wouldn’t mean he would seek it out. There’s just _something_ inside of him that was actually not against doing it again. In fact, he wouldn’t mind doing it again, and that scared the hell out of him, the very reason he needed to get out of there.

“But we’re not finished yet.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been awhile since I updated, real life happened so... 
> 
> And I told you there's plot, so there's no smut here :(
> 
> A little heads up: there will be a sort of Daddycest in this chapter but nothing serious. If that bothers you or not your thing, just pretend it didn't happen. :)
> 
> Mistakes are all mine.

“So,” His father, John Winchester, greeted outside of Bobby’s office with a proud smile on his face. “How’s the interview, kid?”

“It’s all good.” Dean shrugged, trying to act nonchalant in front of his beaming father. Deep inside, though, he was very grateful that his father helped him to get the job without making it look like a charity. “Four times a week, same schedule as yours.”

After being so stubborn in the past few years, trying to find what else he could do other than fixing cars, he was back to what he and John originally planned when he finished attending community college, to become co-owners of Bobby’s auto shop. Not that he’s not dreaming big or anything, it’s just he wondered if there might be something more outside of their small town, the exact reason he moved out and tried his luck being on his own.

Although he didn’t mind being broke in a long time, at least he was independent and he learned adult things from it, like budgeting.

Now, if only he could take his mind off from the _job_ he took to save him from being kicked out of Rufus, this day with his family would go smoothly. He already got the job and would be starting next week, so that’s off his list. What’s next were Bobby and Ellen’s big announcement and surviving the main event, backyard barbeque or the discussion of his love life.

_You’re not getting any younger, Dean._ His mom, Mary, always said every time there was a gathering like this one. Damn it, he’s only twenty-six and having his own family was the last thing he needed to think about. He could barely feed himself, hell, how could he support a family now that he was only getting started with his new career. And he’d rather die than to use the money he would earn if he ever pursued his _acting_ career.

_Damn it_. Dean cursed. _That’s not: not thinking about it_. _The porn gig was a onetime thing it will -._

John pulled him into a one arm hug, stopping the train of thought he was dreading that would never stop and walked him towards Bobby's humble house. The huge hand on his shoulder and the heat radiating from his father’s firm chest made him feel _funny_.

“You’re getting bony, Dean.” His father said while rubbing his arm up and down. “You know… Mary said that she’ll pack you lunch every day. And that means I don’t need to buy lunch or bring cold leftovers again.” The low rumble of John’s chuckles vibrated from his back and traveled directly towards his crotch. _What the hell is happening?_ Stopping outside Bobby’s front porch, his father extracted himself from his awfully stiff body and hugged him tightly before saying something about their chick flick moment being over. But Dean’s brain had already stopped functioning when his father’s thick beard grazed his cheek and neck.

“Winchester,” Bobby hollered behind them. “You and your boy give me a hand with the grill. Those ribs and burgers ain’t going to cook themselves.”

John nodded before ushering Dean inside. “Go greet your mom first; I think she's with Ellen before you help us. Mary missed you a lot since forever.” Clasping his eldest son’s back, John jogged towards the backyard without waiting for his son’s response.

Baffled by his body’s reaction to his father’s touches, Dean shook his head, went to the kitchen, and ignored the sudden tightness of his jeans. A silhouette of a heavily bearded man with bright blue was slowly materializing in his head. And he’s damn sure he had buried that image to the farthest and darkest corner of his brain... last night… after touching himself… while remembering the scrape of Castiel’s stubble against his skin.

Touching his week-old excuse of a beard, he wondered if his mom would bat an eye on his _new_ look. Or encourage it to grow longer, a full beard like his dad. _Oh no_. Dean stopped on his tracks and almost fell on his knees. What if his mom had a thing with facial hair, and it’s hereditary?

“Dean,” Mary chirped when she saw him. She was about to hug him when she stopped abruptly and frowned at his face. “What’s wrong with your face?”

“Just trying something,” Carefully, Dean closed their distance and hugged his mom, nuzzling the soft blond locks and loving the familiar sweet scent of her fruity shampoo, “You like it?” _Please don’t_.

“Sure, it looks good on you, honey, but you better shave it. One lumberjack is enough in our family, and by lumberjack, I mean John.”

A little unsure if that answered his question, Dean kissed his mom’s temple and asked, “Where’s Sam?”

 

* * *

 

As it turned out, the backyard barbeque Bobby and Ellen arranged was to announce the opening of Ellen’s new restaurant. Rufus seemed familiar with the restaurant, judging by its location a few blocks from his building, and little amused on how his friends bought the once-famous burger joint.

Bobby explained that the _shady_ owner sold them the place two months ago and that information piqued Rufus’ attention even more. Rufus admitted that he was never a regular of that joint, but the owner was never shady. In fact, the owner Rufus knew was a man, not a foreign woman. But the last time he went to that place was two and a half years ago, so who’s he to say that things didn’t change.

While the Dean’s small family was busy congratulating Ellen on her new business, Dean saw his mom placing a crisp hundred dollar bill on his father’s splayed hand. Intrigued, he asked his smirking father about the money. “Am I missing something here? What’s up with the cash, Dad?”

“Nothing, your mom just thought that Bobby and Ellen would be announcing that they’re pregnant, that’s why they invited us, and I said they aren’t, so we bet on it.”

Looking at his mom, Dean thought of how lonely their house had become now that he and Sam moved out and their dad was busy working. Mary love children, but expecting Ellen to be pregnant was a little absurd. No wonder his mom wanted him to have a family of his own, to have another small pair of feet running in their house again.

Mary wanted to be a grandma, a badass, loving grandma. But with his relationship status, it’s easier for him to spurt wings and fly than to have a child. Or a girl Mary would approve of.

“So Dean,” John started. “You got anything to share with your old man?”

Dean could smell the alcohol from his father’s breath, and no, he would not share anything. The last thing John needed now was the _thing_ about him sucking cock. "Nothing," Dean said as he watched his father’s tongue slowly wet his lips before taking a swig of his beer. “Why?” Totally _not_ mesmerized by how his dad’s throat bobbed up and down while finishing his beer, Dean asked back.

“You’re acting a little odd, that’s all. You want another beer?”

Dean shook his head no and stood up, excusing himself to go to the bathroom. He didn’t know what’s wrong with him, but if his father noticed that there’s something different about him, then he needed to stay away from John. That guy’s too observant, and the last thing Dean wanted was to be caught checking out his father’s ass, daydreaming how tight it would be around his cock while he’s balls deep fucking John on the hood of the Impala.

_Sonofabitch._

Filling the sink with water, he looked at his reflection on the mirror and saw nothing different, a little tired and flushed, maybe, but it’s still him - the same old Dean. Only this time, he found his father very attractive. No, not his father. Recalling the scene in his head earlier, the guy he was nailing had blue eyes, bluer and brighter than Castiel’s. _Why Castiel?_

Not really sure if it’s a win or anything, but at least he knew that it wasn’t John he was attracted to, just the beard and built. And he’s pretty sure, and kind of accepted, that he’s fantasizing fucking a man. Not some twink or a feminine one, but a guy-guy, and he liked it, the power of making someone bigger than him submit. Or just being with someone who has equal strength as him.

“Dean.” John knocked on the door. “Let me in, I need to piss.”

"Just a minute," Dean replied as he splashed some water on his face. _Soap. I need soap_. He thought when he saw how gritty the water had become.

“Come on, I’d seen every inch of your… oh, never mind.”

While scrubbing his face with Ellen’s fancy soap, he heard the soft click of the door being opened and realized that he didn’t lock it. _Awesome._ With his eyes closed, Dean was a little glad that he wouldn’t see his father’s junk this time, which would only add fuel to his confused cock. Bending down to rinse his face, an odd bulge grazing the cleft of his ass snapped his eyes wide open and made him jump.

“Sonofabitch!” Dean yelped when his knee hit the bottom drawer, rattling its contents and knocking every bottle on the sink.

Behind him, John tried to calm him down, but with his jerky movements, his father had to put both his hands on his waist to pin him in place, minimizing the damage he had already done.

“Why so jumpy, Dean?”

Even with his eyes closed, he could hear the amusement coming from his father’s question. Struggling to wash the suds off of his eyes, the hands on his waist seemed to tighten their grip when he tried to move away, away from the _bulge_ pressing on his ass. Dean must have been imagining things or it’s just the alcohol, but with every shift of his body, the bulge seemed to have grown twice its size when it touched him the first time.

Dean couldn’t speak. He didn’t know why, but whenever he tried, the words escaping his mouth was all turning into silent gasps. Dean tried to keep his cool, but the way his father shifted his hips up and down - grinding against him, turned him the fuck on.

It’s exhilarating and wrong at the same time. There’s something about the outline of his father's cock sliding between his cheeks, the heat, the weight, and the friction that he couldn’t explain other than strange pleasure. And it’s _good_ , too good to block every bit of his reasoning skills. When he pushed his hips back, he heard John make a choked groan from the back of his throat and answered his action by pressing his crotch firmer, the prominent hardon making his ass quiver with excitement.

“Dad.” Dean finally gasped, dropping his head on the crook of his arm. And it sounded almost like a moan that sobered both Winchester. The hands gripping his waist were quickly withdrawn by John as though his skin was on fire before scrambling away from him with a startled noise.

Like nothing had happened, Dean straightened his back and reached for the towel to dry his face, feeling all hot and bothered.

Ready to bolt, he heard his father fumble with his belt, the very reason why he’s in there with him in the first place and contemplated if he wanted to peek or not, to see if John was truly hard underneath those pants. Unsure why was that even a question at all, his feet do the thinking for him and walk outside the bathroom, returning to the dining room where everyone was.

 

* * *

 

The barbecue party went great, he survived that’s what. His mom didn’t press anything about his love life. He had a good time talking with Sam. And talking with his father was not awkward after everything. He and John didn’t talk about what happened in the bathroom. In fact, Dean didn’t want to talk about it, ever, and when John hugged him goodbye after the party, the weight in his chest was lifted.

His father touching him was a good sign, that only meant that John was drunk enough to remember anything, or his father was not disgusted by him. Whatever it was, Dean would take it.

Later that night, Dean was walking towards a bar to blow off some steam. There was this seedy bar near Rufus’ where the beer was cold and the chicks were hot. A game of pool would be nice, but if there’s someone who’s willing to have some fun with him in the bathroom, that would complete his night. _Huh_. Not some blonde chick or brunette with a tight skirt, but _someone_.

Opening the tinted glass door, bell ringing to announce his presence, the first thing Dean heard was the familiar accent coming from someone he dreaded to meet again. His eyes darted towards the bar where he could see Balthazar wearing a too-deep V-neck talking to someone, his new victim.

He wanted a beer, but Balthazar would see him and he didn’t want that. Playing pool would also be out of the table because it would obviously attract attention. _Damn it, why is this place doesn’t have any waiter?_ Feet itching to run away, his phone started vibrating in his pocket; it was Sam. Tearing his eyes from Balthazar who’s doing his _business_ thing, Dean answered his phone.

"Sammy." Dean greeted as he made his way towards the darkest corner of the bar. The place wasn’t crowded tonight so maybe he could talk with Sam peacefully there.

“ _Hey, Dean, you got a minute?_ ” Sam asked with a hint of hesitance in his voice. “ _It’s kind of important_.”

“Yeah, what’s up?” Planting his ass in one of the empty chairs, Dean scanned the room if someone was looking at or following him. The last thing he wanted now was a _company_ who wanted a little chat.

“ _Well_ ,” Dean heard his little brother take a deep breath. “ _I… uh… do you… I mean…_ ”

“Just say it, Sam. You know it’s me, right?”

“ _I need money, Dean. I was caught photocopying the books I needed and the author wanted me to pay for plagiarism, saying that a law student who breaks the law should be kicked out. She told me that she’ll talk to the head if I didn’t pay her money._ ”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Dean didn't intend to shout at his brother. He's angry, true, but not at Sam. It's the author who insulted Sam and wanted him to be kicked out if he didn’t pay for the books. To hell to those bloodsuckers, the books were already overpriced, and now they’re ambushing students who photocopy their books. Sam might be the wrong here, but blackmailing was not a righteous act too.

“ _I tried… but… you look so happy, Dean. I don’t want to upset you._ ”

“You’ll never upset me, Sam.” _Except if you scratch my Baby_.

“ _I know, it’s just -_ ”

“How much do you need?” Dean interrupted. He didn’t have much other than the $500 dollars he had saved from the porn scene, the Sammy emergency money. It's not much, but that's all he had got. "Sammy?" The silence on the other side of the line became awfully long for Dean to start worrying.

“ _Five…_ ” Sam started and broke off, heavy breathing started to fill the silence again.

“Five?” Dean repeated, coaxing Sam to continue. If Sam needed five hundred dollars, then problem solved. But life wasn’t that kind.

“ _Five thousand dollars, Dean_.”

Dean didn’t remember how long their conversation lasted, or if Sam ever said goodnight. It’s a good thing that Sam had told him that John and Mary would give him money, but Sam told them he only needed twenty-five hundred dollars, leaving Dean with the other half. Though his savings was nowhere near the money Sam needed, he knew how to get it without breaking a sweat, figuratively. And it’s Balthazar, the amateur porn king who now looked like an angel to Dean whose harp sounded like a cash register.

With his confused cock, Dean figured that if he wanted to explore what was outside his comfort zone, why not get paid doing it. Besides, he already thought of fucking someone tonight. _Someone_. The thought of fucking a guy was still a hard pill for him swallow, so sticking with it _someone_ was the better option for him… at the moment. He had sucked Castiel’s cock once but that wasn’t enough to confirm that he liked guys too, because maybe it’s just the sex, but he’s sure with one thing. That he would like to do it again, giving someone a head... or more.

_Where the fuck are you, Balthazar?_

It had been an hour since Sam called and Dean couldn’t find the pervert, his head couldn't decide if he was feeling irritated or desperate. He went to the _KnotHeads’s_ studio when the bartender said that Balthazar left but the place was a wreck. There’s a _for sale_ sign on the main gate, some windows were shattered, and destroyed crates were all over the place. The place didn’t look like that last week when he got his paycheck, it looked abandoned.

Hope slowly fading, Dean was walking back towards the bar, hoping that Balthazar would come back there, and thought of talking to his uncle Bobby to lend him some money. Damn it, he wanted to get angry at Sam but he couldn’t. Hell, doing a porn scene became an option because of Sam, only this time, the table had turned and it was him who’s seeking Balthazar.

With a little help from the street lights, taunting him from the darkness, the thing caught his attention like a sore thumb in the street. The fucking can of tomato soup he had been eating in the last months made its appearance in front of him. Dean didn’t know if he wanted to puke or to get angry at the sight, but when he saw who was holding the empty can he couldn’t help but stop on his tracks, hand itching to reach for his wallet.

Captivated by the saddest pair of blue eyes looking right through him, the storm of confusion raging in his chest seemed to calm down when the man gave him a weak smile, the kindest he has ever received next to his mom.

“Spare some change?” The homeless man asked with a soft drawl and it was heartbreaking.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's still no smut here, but there will be in next chapters. Promise.
> 
> \---
> 
> Mistakes are all mine.

"Got us some lunch, Benny," Dean said with a smile while offering a sandwich to his new friend, Benny, who’s sitting beside the pavement just outside the bar with his few earthly possessions, two bags and an old comforter. “I bet you’re hungry.”

“Um, why are you giving me food again?” Reluctant to accept the meatball sandwich Dean was shoving in his hand, Benny asked, his smooth drawl cutting through the busy street. “Not that I’m ungrateful or anything, but, at least let me buy the drinks next time.”

With a groan, Dean sat beside Benny and saw how Benny tore his sandwich in half. He had noticed it the first time he gave Benny food four days ago but didn’t comment on it. He just watched Benny savor his food while neatly rewrapping the other half before keeping it inside his bag.

“So, have you seen the guy I’ve been talking about?” Benny shook his head no beside him and finished his sandwich with a satisfied sigh. Just watching the man’s eyelids flutter shut had Dean smiling, he couldn't believe doing a small act of kindness, like sharing food, would make him all gooey inside. “Still nothing, huh?”

It had been five days since he last saw Balthazar. After what happened to their studio, Dean couldn’t contact both Gabriel and Balthazar, and the porn site had been inaccessible since. His best chance of seeing the guy again was to wait outside the bar. Luckily for him, Benny spent most of his time around the area and Dean couldn’t help but talk to the Cajun man after meeting him the night Sam called.

As it turned out, Benny was a good company and Dean didn’t regret befriending him. True, it’s a little unconventional but Dean couldn’t care less, the guy’s a hoot. And people like Benny needed the company the most, being ignored like you didn’t exist and randomly kicked on by strangers was not fun. During his third day of waiting for Balthazar and talking to Benny, Dean had almost punched someone when he got spat on by some cocky bastard when the guy thought he was homeless too, but Benny just laughed heartily at his outrage, making Dean forget what'd just happened.

Last night though, Benny had accidentally said something about child support and quickly covered it up with jokes, thinking he could divert Dean away from the topic. Dean might be a little curious about what happened to his friend, but he knew how to mind his own business.

“So,” Benny started while scratching his heavily bearded chin. “What’s the deal with this guy? You want me to punch him?”

“Fuck no, Benny.” Dean chuckled a bit at that. “I just need something from him.”

“He owes you money?”

“Well, kind of.” Dean shrugged, being with Benny had his tongue a little loose like he’d known him for years. “I need money for my brother.”

“If you needed the money, then why are you still spending it to me with all the food? You know I get by, right? I still have plenty of canned soup with me.”

“Because I want to, okay. Besides, I don’t want you choking yourself with that tomato soup.”

“Hey,” Benny sounded almost offended but his smile was teasing. “It’s my favorite; they taste good and quite nutritional. Also, they’re the cheapest.”

 _I know_. Dean grimly thought. The reason why he chose to eat the damn thing for months was that of its price, it's the cheapest brand in the store. He liked it a lot too, but he had reached his limit. Benny’s just a bit bigger than him, so sooner or later, he too would hate the soup.

Unsure why he was thinking about it now but there’s something deep inside of him that wanted to help Benny to be on his feet again. His friend’s a good man, and good men deserved better than this.

“Hey, Dean-o.” A familiar accent said that had Dean snapping his head fast to look at the man. “Who’s your friend?”

“Balthazar,” Dean said while standing up, a sigh of relief escaping his mouth. _Fucking finally_. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Benny did the same, only Benny straightened out his dirty shirt to look presentable at least. “This is Benny.”

For the first time, Dean saw Benny become self-conscious when Balthazar reached out a hand to shake him. Not that Balthazar was an intimidating person, but it's probably because of the obvious difference of their appearances, Balthazar being clean-shaven and wearing a too expensive gray jacket, and Benny with his tattered coat.

 _Huh, looks like I’m too judgmental._ Amused, Dean thought when Balthazar’s hand didn’t waver or even wiped his hand clean after Benny shook it while introducing himself. For someone who’s filthy rich, Balthazar seemed to be a humble person. _You’re still a pervert, though._

“So, what are you two, fine gentlemen, doing out here in the cold?”

"Actually, I'm waiting for you," Dean said, his hands tucked inside his pockets, ready to whore himself. If he could pick someone to be with him in his second scene, it would be Castiel, the guy seemed to know his way around a cock, unlike him. He already had sex with the college student, so why not do it again, only this time he was ready to do more than touching and sucking. “You know… _business_.”

“Is that so? Then why don’t we talk about it inside, where it’s warm and cozy.”

“Uh,” Benny interrupted when both men started making their way towards the bar. “I believe someone like me doesn't belong there. I'll just wait for you -”

“Nonsense,” Balthazar exclaimed when he figured out what Benny mean. “I know the owner, so no one will bother you, Lafitte. Besides, aren’t you with Dean here?”

Fuck, Dean forgot about Benny.

“Yeah, but I figure I’m no part of your business, so...” Benny shrugged, feet firmly planted on beside his bags.

“But you need money, too, right?” As the words left Dean's mouth, his brain didn't register what he just said until it reached his own ears. _Motherfucker_. The way Benny looked at him with pained expression had his heart clenching. Benny had trusted him, now his words were no different than the people looking down at his friend every single day. What he said was over the line, that’s why Benny’s response to his accusation shocked him.

“Yeah,” Benny said, shoulders slump and eyes locked at the asphalt on his feet. “I kind of need the money.”

“Oh,” Balthazar said, a smile creeping across his face. “Then we better go inside and talk business, shall we? Leave it,” He shook his head and pointed at the bags Benny was about to pick up. “I’ll ask Uriel, the bouncer, to keep his eyes on them.”

As the men got settled on Balthazar’s usual booth, Dean and Benny sitting side by side while Balthazar was in front of them, Dean couldn’t help feel stupid for inviting Benny. His friend had no idea of the Balthazar’s porn business; the man could be a drug dealer, human organ harvester, or something worse. But Benny still followed them, desperate for money.

 _Desperate_ …

“I went to your place a few days ago," Dean said while clutching the cold beer.

“That? Well, Gabriel moved to a bigger place so we have to… uh, _restart_. Anyways, Lafitte, has Dean ever told you what his job is – how you will earn the money you needed?”

Eyes focused on the beading condensation of his beer bottle, Dean felt Benny shook his head no beside him. Fuck, it seemed like it was time for Benny to freak out and run away from him. He shouldn’t be worrying about Benny finding out how his _gig_. Hell, he’d only known the man in less than a week, getting attached to a stranger was never in his dictionary.

“Okay, Dean, you want to say it yourself?” Balthazar said, unsure if he should deliver the _bad news_ himself. Dean only gave a weak shrug, eyes still glued to the bottle, letting Balthazar say it for him. He couldn't do it even if he wanted to, anyway. "Well, your friend here starred in an amateur porn scene, Lafitte.”

“Porn?”

“Yes, porn... _gay_ porn.” Balthazar punctuated. “But he’d only done it once, and it’s pretty mild too.”

“Yeah?” Benny asked with a hint of amusement in his tone, which was the last thing Dean was expecting to hear, disgust being the first. “What did he do?”

“He gave one of our regulars a head.”

“Hot damn, that’s wild.” Turning his attention to Dean, Benny asked. “I didn’t know you swing that way.”

“I don’t.” Almost shouting, Dean said defensively. _Keep denying it, asshole._

Tapping his fingers in front of the two men, Balthazar smiled at Benny. “You see, Benny… Can I call you, Benny?” Benny nodded. “In our _art films_ , we only recruit straight men – desperate straight men, and paired them with someone who has experience.”

“Ah.”

“Now, the question is: are you straight?” Slowly savoring his whiskey, Balthazar watched Benny nod again on the rim of his glass. "Perfect," Balthazar exclaimed by slamming his empty glass a bit too hard on the table. “You want your first scene to be with Dean? Or should I find you someone else?”

 _What?_ Dean couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Without asking his consent, Balthazar had offered to pair him with Benny. Not that he's complaining to do it with someone he knows but doing it with Benny?

Sure he liked the guy, but… but what? Dean couldn’t seem to lie to himself. The moment he saw Benny begging for some change had his cock aching in his pants. The eyes, the rugged beard, the broad shoulders, the fucking Cajun accent, and fuck, those thick fingers. He’d thought about those fingers mapping his body, bruising him while he’s trying to be the dominant one, to be the one doing the fucking not… not… Dean couldn’t remember the rest of it. He came hard when he thought of Benny slamming him against a wall, pinning him in place.

After a few days of interaction with Benny though, the urge seemed to go away. Someone like Benny was not hook-up material. For the first time, Dean just wanted to talk and know more about someone he was actually interested in. _Huh_. Sonofabitch, he liked Benny, the man who looked exactly like the man – not his Dad – haunting his dreams since his cock became confused at everything.

Tearing his eyes from his beer and looking at his friend, he just noticed that Benny’s not bad to look at, a very attractive man if you look past the grime and clothes. The only con on Benny’s list was: he’s homeless, but Dean didn’t even mind it at all, everyone has their own ups and downs, hell, Dean also had one when he took the offer of doing porn. Only now, it was Benny being reeled in by Balthazar to do it too, tempting him with money he badly needed.

The foundation they’ve built as friends will be ruined by porn, their fucking saving grace. Would it be worth it? Dean didn’t know, his body – cock mostly – was screaming _fuck yes_ , while his...

_Why am I thinking this?_

What snapped him from his thought was Benny’s piercing blue eyes, looking hopefully at him with a smile. _Hopeful?_ And the words coming out from his lips had Dean whimpering inside.

“If Dean would be the one popping my cherry, then I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Benny drawled, his eyes locked at Dean's, who was captivated by the softness of Benny's voice, drowning all his doubts and worries away. "Is that okay?"

“Sure,” Dean shrugged, his shoulder touching Benny’s. There’s someone screaming in his head about personal space but he kind of like the warmth radiating from Benny, how their legs brushed each other and how Benny nudged his foot back. “But I don’t know what to do.” _Liar_. He knew exactly what to do with Benny and his body – glorious body, he bet. He had done it with women, doing it with a man shouldn’t be that different, only there’s no breasts and vagina... just penis and balls.

“Hey, who says there would be penetration?” Balthazar said. “Either way, that settles it then. How about we talk about prices, huh?”

With that Balthazar repeated what he had said to Dean when he first offered him the job two weeks ago, the contract, payment, incentives, and the new place. Benny didn’t bat an eye when Balthazar told him the explicit details of Dean’s first scene and how he had fled without taking his payment, only to return a week later to get it.

While Balthazar was enumerating the things he and Benny could do, Dean noticed how Benny’s posture changed from slack to professional, as though Benny was also a big shot _businessman_. Judging by the side-glances Benny was giving to him, he figured that Benny was considering the things that would make him uncomfortable. But with Sam’s financial situation, being picky was not an option. Hell, he might even consider swallowing Benny’s load now that he’d heard how much Gabriel would pay him. If women could do it, why wouldn’t he?

After explaining every important detail, Balthazar agreed to schedule them both right away – tomorrow – and quickly dismissed them, trying to find another _client_.

“$150,” Benny started when they exited the bar, cold night breeze greeting their faces. “That’s a lot of money.”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you do it?” Crouching down, Benny rolled his comforter and secured it in one of his bags.

“The kiss?” One bag on his shoulder while the other was clutched on his hand, Benny nodded. “I… uh… I freaked out.”

Benny didn’t answer, he just shook his head with a small smile and started walking, assuming that his friend would follow him, in which Dean did.

Dean didn’t know how long they’d been walking, and it had him thinking that Benny could be him if Rufus actually kicked him out and he’s too stubborn to go home with his parents, tail between his legs. People would stare at him, having no place to stay, no money, and no friends. Wait… he still got Charlie and Gilda, those girls would never let him starve.

Now that he thought about it, Benny had no one that Dean knew of. Benny hadn't shared anything personal about himself yet, not that Dean was worried but everyone should have at least have someone, like the kid Benny happened to mention while talking about child support. “Hey,” _What happened to you, Benny?_ Dean bit his tongue and kept the words to himself, unsure if Benny would be offended, so he thought of something else. “Where are we going?”

“Just someplace I know a couple more blocks away. I hope you're fine with cheap bread.”

“I eat anything if that's what you're asking…” _Hell, I put a penis in my mouth, and I'm looking forward to seeing yours._ “…as long as it’s not vegan or modified tofu, mind you. Those are not food, and should be illegal.” That made Benny chuckle lowly, and had Dean thinking that he'd never get tired of hearing it. “Which bakery are you talking about?”

“The _Fitzgerald’s._ If you’re someone like me, you can get the pieces of bread fifty percent off, sometimes seventy-five when it’s eight-thirty in the evening. Ever heard of it?” Dean shook his head no, trying to find a hint of bitterness in Benny’s tone and finding nothing.

As it turned out, the ‘ _cheap bread’_ Benny was talking about was actually pretty good, a little pricier than the tomato soup but it worth every penny.

“Say, how old are you?” Out of nowhere, Dean asked with a mouthful of bread, basking the freshly brewed coffee Benny had brought for him. Benny just laughed at his question as he retrieved his half-eaten sandwich from earlier. “What?”

“Nothing, your question is just too _first date-y_.”

“This is a date?” Sipping his coffee, Dean tried to hide any hint of panic coming out of him while Benny arched an eyebrow at him, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. _Fuck no, this is not a date._

“No. All I’m saying is…” Benny trailed off and dismissed it by waving a hand. “To answer your question, I’m thirty.”

“What made you think that this is a date?” Because of Benny’s accusation, Dean remembered that he’d dates like this, just sitting and talking underneath the moonlight. _Underneath the moonlight?_ Dean scoffed at the thought. His dates were never romantic, and most of them were not even close to this. “And why are you thinking this is a date?”

"Am not," Benny said while dramatically rolling his eyes. “I just said that your question is basic first date stuff. Why are you panicking too much? We’re just eating, brother. Besides, you deserve better than this…” Benny pointed at the poorly lighten park around them and the paper cups containing their coffee. “…if ever this is a date.”

"I didn't panic," Dean countered, having nothing to say about the other stuff Benny just said. It's true, they're just eating, and it's true he's the one who overthought and panicked, but it's not true that he deserved better. What they're having was actually kind of good... better, even. Just eating and talking, no drama, and he was really enjoying himself with the simplicity of everything. "And the bread's good."

“Whatever you say.”

As they sat in a comfortable silence after eating, Dean couldn’t help but think of Benny’s words. _You deserve better_ … He wondered what it would be like dating a guy, like: where would they go, what would they do, and who would pay for their dinner. He’d kept denying that what he was feeling was only physical, that he just wanted to try having sex with a guy - real sex, but with these thoughts of his, he realized that he’s actually considering dating men now. And he’s not afraid at all.

“Out of curiosity, Benny, just for fun… would you date me?”

“You sure you want to talk about that?” There’s no judgment in Benny’s tone. In fact, he sounded amused with Dean’s question, and for someone who’s straight, Benny wasn’t overprotective of his masculinity.

“I guess.” Dean shrugged, honestly curious of Benny’s answer.

“Well, you’re not bad to look at and I like you a lot, so why not.  But you might be able to do better than me if you're really going to pursue… what you’re _pursuing_ , Dean.”

“What do you mean?”

Benny didn’t answer; he didn’t even look at Dean. He just pointed a finger to himself and waved it up and down his body, trying to emphasize what he meant without words. That he’s nothing special, a waste of space and Dean got the message loud and clear.

He kind of hated that even Benny was looking down at himself. He couldn’t do something about it though, talking was not his specialty. Sure, comforting words were good to uplift his friend’s spirit, but it wouldn’t magically solve Benny’s problems. Determined to chase away the sadness looming in Benny’s eyes, Dean waited for Benny to relax before saying. “You want to crash in my place tonight?”

It’s the least he could do, he figured. With all the shit Benny had been through, the last thing Benny needed now was to be alone, sleeping somewhere cold and dirty. What’s left of Benny was his dignity, and the porn scene would take it away from him tomorrow. But Dean wouldn’t let Benny think that he had nothing left, because he’d be there, as his friend.

"I reckon you said that is not a date," Benny said with a smirk, his cheery-self was slowly coming back. "Not that we're saving _it_ for tomorrow, but I don’t really put out in first dates.”

“It’s not, you dumbass.” Dean kicked Benny’s foot, in which Benny responded by bumping Dean’s shoulder with his. “I just figured you wanted a hot shower or something.”

 _Or something_ … Dean wondered what he meant by that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Benny were now inside Gabriel's studio-slash-house. And they didn't go there unprepared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever to finally update. (I'm sorry about that) And I just want you to know that I'm not dead yet (or abandoning this fic). I lost my drafts, so I had to outline everything again.
> 
> Warning: Short chapter.
> 
> \---
> 
> Mistakes are all mine. :)

“It’s huge.” Dean marveled at the sight, his body buzzing in anticipation.

Humming his agreement, Benny said. “You think so?”

Walking towards Gabriel’s new studio-slash-house, their eyes wandered around the neatly trimmed lawn, no flowers or any decorations except the copper statue of a cupid – classic Gabriel. The address Balthazar had given to them last night brought them to a neighborhood where everyone owns a pool and high, white fences separating each property. And if they listen hard enough, maybe it's possible to hear the biscuit crumbling and sinking into someone's tea next door.

As they stopped in front of the door, Dean could already feel his hand starting to sweat. Just thinking about how everything’s about to change between him and Benny was making him nervous and excited at the same time. Dean was about to reach out to ring the bell when the front door swung open, Gabriel greeting them with a wide, proud smile.

“Welcome to _mi casa_ , boys," Gabriel exclaimed, inviting them inside with his arms spread open.

Dean didn’t have enough time to appreciate the hardwood floor and paintings hanging on the creamy white wall when Gabriel ushered both of them inside a room. There, a king-sized bed covered with clean, gray sheets and fluffy pillows stood in the middle of the room, not like what Dean had been expecting.

_Are we not doing it on the couch?_

If not because of what he and Benny had shared last night, he would probably have a panic attack that they would be doing it on a bed. That it was too intimate for him. Thankfully, he was past that stage of doubts and he didn’t need to pretend anymore, that he was only doing it for Sam and the money. He’s here to explore what else he could do with Benny. And if what would happen later was as easy as last night, then this scene would be a piece of cake. No sweat.

_Or sweaty._

Tinkering with a camera pointed at the bed, Balthazar looked up to greet them with his easygoing smile but his mouth went lax when he saw Benny standing behind Dean. “Why did you trim your beard, Lafitte? Not that I disagree that you wanted to look dashing, but your… _hobo_ look would be more appealing to our audiences.”

“ _Oh, bugger off, Balthazar_ ," Gabriel waved off, mimicking Balthazar's accent. "What happened, _happened_. Right, Dean?” With a pat on the back, Gabriel snapped Dean from his head before disappearing into another room.

Dean didn’t hear what they were talking about, so he just nodded, hoping he was not agreeing to something he would regret later. Behind him, Benny whispered in a low drawl. “I shouldn’t have shaved my fuzz, chief.”

Turning his head, Dean was caught off guard by Benny’s blue eyes under his eyelashes, staring expectantly at him. It seemed like Benny too wasn't bothered by the bed. Judging by the way he rocked himself on the balls of his feet, he seemed pretty relaxed for someone who'd be doing his first _gay_ porn video. 

“Nah, it looks good on you, man.”

 

* * *

 

_Last night, inside Dean’s apartment._

“I can’t believe you have your health certificate with you.” Amused, Dean hollered so Benny could hear him in the bathroom. For someone who had been living off the streets for two years, Benny’s papers were all here and updated.

Dean felt stupid for not thinking in advance that maybe Benny didn’t have any documents. Without them, his and Benny’s scene wouldn’t happen. Gabriel and Balthazar wouldn’t allow it, they were professionals.

Speaking of Balthazar, the supposed professional, that man should’ve asked earlier if Benny had all the papers he needed so they could reschedule to get them. Or maybe he and Benny had already discussed it and Dean was just busy blushing and drinking his beer. Luckily, Benny’s a boy scout, all prepared and everything, because Dean didn’t want to do it with some strangers again. If Castiel was available, sure, he’d do it with him, Castiel was no stranger to him. But if Dean was being honest, his dick wanted Benny.

No, he wanted Benny.

The bathroom door opened and Benny exited wearing Dean’s old sweatpants, his treasure trail peaking above the garter and was connected to his chest hair. He’s right, Benny’s tattered coat and dirty clothes earlier didn’t do justice to what’s underneath them. If Dean said he didn’t take in the sight in front of him, then he was a lying bastard. And it seemed like he was having a hard time averting his eyes.

 _Too loose_. Dean thought as his eyes strayed a little further to the south and got fixated at the subtle bulge tenting there. If he thought about it now, he should be ashamed – or feel sick – of himself for thinking lending one of his old, smaller pair to Benny. _Fuck_. Eyes still glued at Benny’s crotch, Dean’s head started to spin just at the thought of Benny wearing pants that were tight at the right places.

_What the hell is happening to me?_

Benny sat beside Dean with a groan, the sofa dipping with their combined weight, and looked around the living room. Stretching his arms by draping them on the sofa, Benny praised. “You got a real nice place here, chief, and the water pressure’s godsend.”

“I figured you’d say that. You’re all pink like you scratched off your skin.” Setting Benny's papers on the coffee table beside the sofa, Dean pointed out. Beside him, Benny was smiling contently whose skin was flush red, either from the hot shower or scrubbing it too hard. And fuck, the heat radiating from his body was enveloping Dean like a hug.

Benny chuckled deeply at that and said. “Well, you see, chief, it’s been a while since I actually _showered_. Besides, I want to smell nice for tomorrow.”

“For the record, Benny, you don’t smell bad. You…” Dean paused as his nose caught a hint of something familiar and spicy mixing with the scent of his cheap guava shampoo, “You smell great. What’s that?”

“That? Well, I reckon it’s not proper to use personal stuff. So I used my own _Old Spice_ deodorant. Want to give it a whiff?” Exposing his hairy armpit, Benny offered. “It’s _Bearglove_.”

Without giving it a thought, Dean leaned forward, almost burying his nose in Benny’s pit, and took a lungful of Benny’s scent. His eyes slip shut as the smell of apple, citrus, and spice hit his nostrils. He was expecting sweat and musk – the normal guy scent, but instead, he was greeted by a fresh, homey scent. It’s different than what he loved about women. It’s not sweet, or flowery. Everything about Benny was screaming pure masculinity so Dean couldn’t explain why there’s an image of Benny baking pie materializing in his head.

“Awesome, I like it.” Dean complimented a little too honest as he pulled his head back.

Pleased, Benny beamed at Dean as he slowly lowered his arm down. They sat there for a few minutes in a companionable silence before Dean’s mind started to wonder if Benny was cold. The man was still half-naked, for fuck’s sake, stretching his body as though he was enticing Dean.

“Say,” Sitting up straight, Benny started, “do you mind lending me your razor?”

Dean’s eyebrow rose at that. “You’re trimming your beard?” He liked that beard since day one. For him, that was one of Benny’s top three sexiest features. _Sexy, really Winchester?_ Dean thought as he locked eyes with Benny’s blue eyes.

At first, Benny didn’t answer. He glanced down at his crotch before shrugging. “Well…”

“Aw, come on, man.” Dean groaned. “Fucking gross.” There’s no heat when Dean said it. In fact, when he figured Benny was kidding, he laughed and gave Benny a little push.

Competitive as he was, Benny responded by playfully shoving Dean back.

After a few shoves and kicks later, Dean and Benny were now laughing, rolling, and wrestling on the floor. How Dean ended up trapped underneath Benny, Dean didn’t know. Everything was a blur when you’re having fun.

With his both hands pinned firmly above his head, Dean tried to throw Benny off with his hips but Benny’s knees were keeping them in place. For someone who’s not eating well, Benny was still stronger than him, despite his cute and cuddly appearance. Maybe it’s right what they say about people living on the streets, survival of the fittest. Too bad for Benny, Dean always fought dirty whenever he's desperate.

Trying to relax his body, Dean acted that he was giving up. Benny noticed and eased his grip, believing Dean had already surrendered. Who wouldn’t believe Dean's acting though? He’s a great actor, better than any soccer players. With a quick twist and maneuvering, Dean easily escaped Benny’s grasp and turned the tables by pinning Benny under him.

“Ha, take that, you sonofabitch.” Dean slammed Benny on the floor and screamed triumphantly before rolling off his back. What he did was a cheap shot, playing possum and claiming victory when Benny obviously hadn’t given up yet. Benny didn’t complain though, he just shook his head and chuckled deeply at what happened.

As Dean and Benny lay there to catch their breaths, Rufus’ voice boomed downstairs.

“ _Keep it down, you motherfuckers! There are people trying to sleep here!_ ”

“Oops.” Breathless, Dean said unapologetically with a shit-eating smile. Beside him, Benny too had the same smile as him, his teeth bared and white. “Let me rest for a sec. Then I’ll get my shaver.”

“Ah, yes.” Benny agreed as though he had forgotten that he wanted to borrow it. “Now I can shave all these man-fuzz, to look civilized again.”

“All of it?” Benny nodded. “But I love your beard. It looks good on you.” Slowly, Dean reached out and caressed Benny’s jaw, his fingers carding the thick, unkempt beard. This got Benny’s attention and turned to look at him straight in the eyes, his blue eyes getting a little unfocused. “What?”

“You want me just to trim it?”

“Maybe.” Dean shrugged, his hand trailing down towards Benny’s lightly furred chest. There, he could feel it, Benny’s racing heart under his fingertips. Dean interpreted it as overexertion and nothing more. “Cold nights like this, you don’t want your face all naked and exposed outside.”

“Okay,” Nodding, Benny agreed, his eyes still glued at Dean as though counting his freckles. “I’ll just trim it then.” When his breathing finally evened out, Benny rolled on his side, looked down at Dean and offered. “You want to make out?”

“What?” Dean’s voice cracked, blindsided by Benny’s question.

“You know, a little practice for tomorrow.”

“No, no.” Dean sharply shook his head as he scrambled on the floor until his back hit the sofa. He thought Benny would be offended, but Benny was just smiling amusedly at him. “What about your, not putting out on first…” Dean trailed off. What he and Benny did was not a date. It’s just friends hanging out and eating dinner.

“It’s just kissing, Dean. Don’t freak out.” Benny held up his hands as he sat on the floor, mocking surrender, and said. “I won’t grope you, promise.”

“Still no, man. My first rule in this gay porn business is, no kissing. _Enterder?_ ”

Biting his lower lips, Benny seemed to consider Dean’s _rule_.

After a few heartbeats later, Benny nodded and said. “Sure, sure. But what are we going to do tomorrow if kissing ain’t happening, chief? You want me to just dive right in and suck you off, no foreplay or such things? And how will we do that, will we take turns? You first and then me, or we’ll… you know, sixty-nine?”

_Sixty-nine?_

“You’re straight, right?” Was what all Dean could muster as he watched Benny sit beside him, their shoulders touching. He couldn’t believe how those words rolled off Benny’s tongue without flinching. Hell, no straight man would even think of touching someone else’s junk, imagine discussing giving your friend a head.

“Sure am.” Benny drawled. They sat there for a full minute in silence, just breathing and enjoying the presence of each other, until Benny finally opened his mouth. "Look, Dean, I don’t want to give you a wrong impression or anything, but I too really need the money, and I would do anything – anything – for us to earn more. So if I said, I want you to fuck me tomorrow, you better fuck me, yeah?”

“Why?”

“For the money, Dean. Come on, catch up will you.”

“I meant: why would you let me fuck you, smartass.” Dean nudged Benny with his elbow. “We can do other things to earn more money, you know, like -”

“Like kissing?” Cutting Dean off, Benny suggested, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards. Failing to contain his smile.

“No, no.” Dean groaned. He closed his eyes and rolled his head back. He then realized that the sofa’s cushion catching his head was actually Benny’s arm. How it happened, being _that_ close to Benny, Dean didn’t give a tiny rat ass. Benny’s scent calmed his nerves. “Fuck, Benny, please stop fixating on that.”

“Okay, okay. How about this,” Benny tilted his head and gave Dean’s clothed shoulder a quick peck, “was that okay?”

Slowly, Dean approved by nodding. Fuck, what Benny just did have rendered him speechless, his throat tightening up. He might be only wearing a tee-shirt, but it seemed like his skin had felt the sharp contrast of Benny’s rough beard and his soft lips, highlighting the tenderness of Benny’s kiss. And it sent shivers down his spine – the good kind.

No one had ever kissed him like that, not even his exes.

“Look,” Benny started again as he carefully withdrew his arm away and gave Dean some space. “I ain’t sure what things that would freak you out and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so why don’t you do the first move tomorrow, yeah?” Benny offered. “Touch me wherever you want. Hell, kiss me if you want as long as you’re okay with it.”

 _FuckitFuckitFuckitFuckit._ Dean thought as he closed the gap between him and Benny, his eyes glancing down at Benny’s parted lips. Who could resist after hearing those words? This bear man was too much of a gentleman, giving him his consent and everything, and he felt bad for letting Benny adjust in their situation because of his crippling insecurity.

He’s not _freaking out_ because of kissing a man. He’s afraid that the illusion and safety that they’re only doing this for the sake of money would vanish. Everything would be different, and at the same time, everything would be real between him and Benny. He’s fine being rejected but losing Benny would be worse.

“Promise me we’ll still be friends after this, okay?” Dean asked while reaching out to cup Benny’s bearded cheek. Benny nodded once and that’s all the confirmation Dean needed to lean forward and capture Benny’s lips with his, giving it a soft yet firm kiss.

It was supposed to be just a peck, but he couldn’t help but linger and breathe Benny’s scent. He hadn’t ever kissed a guy before but nothing seemed different than kissing a woman. Sure, Benny had a beard but underneath it was a soft pair of lips, and that’s all that matter when it comes to kissing.

As their lips parted the slightest distance, Dean could feel Benny’s warm breath on him and he couldn’t hold back as he took Benny’s lips again, only this time it was deeper with a little tongue action. There was nothing shy or unsure about their second kiss. Benny was kissing Dean back with equal intensity and passion – nothing overwhelming, but little did Benny know, Dean wanted him to take charge and suck the life out of him.

After a brief moment, Dean finally regained control and backed away, his eyes on Benny, all flushed and breathless. He got carried away and found himself straddling Benny’s lap.

“Wow,” Chest heaving, Benny gasped as though he had run out of air. Soothing Dean’s sides with his large hands, he asked. “What was that for, chief?”

“A little preview for tomorrow.” A little breathless, Dean answered with a smirk. He kissed Benny’s temple one last time before getting off of him, ignoring how tight his pants had become.

“More like a _teaser_.”

“Shut up,” Dean gingerly stood up, minding the prominent bulge in his pants, and ruffled Benny’s hair. “And wipe that darn smile on your face. I’ll get your fucking shaver.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. :)


End file.
